It was Cake-gate at the U3A Christmas Party this afternoon.
There we were, tucking into our pastries when our Chairman called
for silence and in stentorian tones announced that One Table must have taken possession of two plates of cakes, rather than the one they were entitled to. “There are 12 tables and 12 plates of cakes,” she pointed out, “But one table doesn’t
have any cakes so One Table must have two plates.” Her logic, like her arithmetic, was faultless.
We all looked around to see if we could spot the Guilty
Ones, the ones cramming their ill-gotten gains into their greedy mouths before the U3A police swooped upon them and retrieved the extra plate. We knew it wasn’t us. We definitely only had one plate of cakes on our table. We could have done with
two plates because we were all still hungry after our plate of mini sausage rolls, mini pork pie, mini quiche and mini spring rolls. But we weren’t complaining, oh, no not us.
Anyway, just as it was getting very interesting, someone found the missing plate of cakes still residing in the kitchen and Cake-gate turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. Which was a shame as it certainly had enlivened proceedings
for a while.
The U3A Christmas Party is not exactly a raucous affair. We all had three picture quizzes on our tables – a famous people picture quiz,
a musical instrument quiz and a Christmas films quiz. The film quiz was really, really difficult. The only two films we knew for sure were Polar Express and Miracle on 34th Street. When it came to the answers, the films were ones none
of us had ever heard of. Or maybe we just don't get out enough. We fared better on the Musical Instruments quiz, scoring 9 out of 10 and it should have been 10 because all of us said the tenth instrument was a zither but nobody had sufficient courage
of their convictions to actually write down the answer in the space provided. We did have a bit of trouble with the spelling of vuvuzela but I think we could be excused our somewhat eccentric spelling of what is, after all, an eccentric instrument.
With a score of 6 out of 10 on the Famous Faces (we got La Toya Jackson mixed up with Janet – an easy mistake we all told each other) we had an overall total of 17 – the winners scored 21. We would obviously have done much better if Mr B had only
remembered to bring his reading glasses along with him...
When I stopped being a Working Gal, all those eighteen months ago, I thought I was saying goodbye to Christmas meals and parties. But,
hey, how wrong can you be? So far I have had three parties and it’s only the 10 of December. Or, according to my Advent Candle which is still trying valiantly to catch up, the 6 of December.
The Main Event of today’s party was a professional singer who entertained us with a variety of songs, some – but not all – Christmassy ones. He then proceeded to produce a pink hairy ventriloquist’s
dummy which went by the name of “Sam” – presumably short for Samantha? This was a trifle unexpected but possibly a good move on his part as we were all too far back from the stage to be able to check whether his mouth was moving, especially
when he held his microphone in a strategic position hiding most of his lower face.
We all gave him a rousing round of applause at the end of his act.
We are a supportive crowd, having been brought up to be polite and appreciative of those who seek to amuse us. The Vice-Chairman proposed a vote of thanks and took him into the kitchen for some well-earned refreshments.
I just hope there was some cake left...