You may have read in the newspapers recently that The Generation Game – the TV game show much beloved of my off-spring when they were much, much younger than they are now – is about to return to our screens
with the delicious Miranda taking on the Bruce Forsyth role.
I say “delicious” because I love Miranda, but Mr B doesn’t care for her at all,
oh, no, not he. In fact he cannot understand why I find her antics in the least bit funny and will sit po-faced through episode after episode just to prove his point. I suppose you could say that Miranda is a Marmite kind of person in that you love
her or hate her though I don’t think Mr B would go as far as saying he hates her, rather that he is completely indifferent to her charms. I am just hoping that this won’t stop us tuning in to the new-style Generation Game.
My Foursome all wanted to be on The Generation Game. All they needed was a willing grandparent. Of the four on offer, so to speak, the most likely candidate was Mr B’s Dad, known as Bronze Ball
because he spent so much time on the bowling green over the summer months that he was a perfect advertisement for sun cream. The older Mr B was only 5 foot 2 inches tall but what he lacked in height he made up for in sheer joie de vivre. They would have
love, love, loved him on The Generation Game. I think he would have shone, particularly, in the games where the contestants have to watch an exotic dance performed by professional dancers and then re-create the routine as best they could. I have
seen my father-in-law (now sadly departed but probably still cracking the same old jokes to any stray angel with the time to listen to him) on many a dance floor and I can fully vouch for his ability to dance to anything. By which I mean, he would execute
exactly the same dance steps, be it a waltz, a polka, a jive or a sexy samba - but with a flair and full-on enthusiasm which could not be bettered. We have great video footage of him dancing his way from our garden into the house, tripping over the door step
and narrowly avoiding falling into the room before righting himself in the nick of time. Not a single beat did he miss as he carried right on dancing.
that was then and this is now. So I will declare, up front, that I feel I would be perfectly cast as the Dotty Older Person in a Generation Game duo. All I need to do is to identify which of my Extraordinary Eight grandchildren would be best equipped to help
me to the Ultimate Prize. Young Faris and Young Morgan would both register high on the cute factor which woud dubtless earn us extra points (and points mean prizes, don't you know?) but I am not sure either of them would stay still long enough to
listen to the rules of the task. They would, however, both be absolutely excellent at any game which involved making messy mixes out of flour and water or throwing mud pies around.
There is almost always a dancing challenge in The Generation Game and here all four of my older grandkids could more than hold their own. Perhaps I should hold an audition? Similarly all four sing like angels – but, working on the principle
that you can always hear Hazel’s voice above all the rest when she is singing in a choir, possibly she would be my best accompanist. She would doubtless be able to drown out my own feeble vocals. She would also be a good choice for any quiz about Songs
From The Musicals – to the extent of knowing which number any particular song is on the CD of this name played in her Mum’s car. “Can we have number 12 please?” she will demand while her poor parent is still negotiating her way out
of the driveway.
I think Katie would be best for any game requiring instant answers as she is definitely our very own Miss Confident and bang up-to-date; for any
challenge where nimble fingers would be an asset, I will opt for her younger sister on the basis that, while I have taught all my older grandkids to knit, Elle is the only one who has stuck at it. Seven year old Sam would be the sensible choice for art-based
games especially after winning the John Lewis “Design a Mother’s Day card” competition with a quite amazing depiction of a giant bee which you can almost hear buzzing as it flies in the face of the sun. Mind you, he and brother James would
also excel at play-acting which, I seem to recall, was another much-loved feature of the original Generation Game.
The finale of The Generation Game was always
the Conveyor Belt challenge where one of the winning couple had to watch a succession of prizes passing before their very eyes, then over the course of a minute, name as many as they could remember. There was always a cuddly toy on the conveyor belt
and many of the prizes were distinctly under-whelming, with a heavy emphasis on kitchen utensils. I think Jack would be best on this, on the basis that for the past few months he has been swotting for his GCSEs, poor thing, so his brain has doubtless
expanded enormously to meet that challenge.
I can just hear Brucie now saying: “Didn’t he do well?”
Miranda - delicious or not - may be more difficult to impress...