Jaqui's Daily Blog

The Post Office and Delivery of the Small Grey Monkey

Today was a very busy day. In the morning I attended an annual review meeting with funders of the organisation I chair; in the afternoon, it was the fortnightly meeting of our Nomination Whist group with all that involves in terms of moving furniture, buying biscuits and checking that nobody has been illegally marking the cards; plus there were general preparations for a Brothers and Sisters Gathering at our place tomorrow.

 

However the absolutely most important task of the day was organising the transportation home of the Small Grey Monkey.

 

You are probably wondering if I have been affected by watching too many wildlife programmes such as Spring Watch. Though there haven’t been too many small grey monkeys featured on Spring Watch or not, at least, on the programmes I have managed to watch.  Certainly if there has been an appearance of a small grey monkey which I have missed, then I am pretty sure that the monkey in question will not have had magnetic paws.  I am right, am I not?

 

The Small Grey Monkey of which I am speaking was purchased from the Gift Shop at Techniquest in Cardiff where I accompanied the two eldest of the Little Welsh Boys when on my last Nanna Visit.  The wonders of Techniquest were many and varied and Truly Wonderful To Behold – but I must admit that it was the Gift Shop that held most appeal for my young companions. It didn’t take five year old James very long to alight upon the ideal gift with which to remember his visit – the Small Grey Monkey. This despite the fact that (i) our visit had not featured monkeys of any variety, size or colour; and (ii) James’s small brother Morgan (aka the Duracell Bunny) was almost certain to lay claim to the Small Grey Monkey as soon as he laid eyes on it and add to his collection of “ooo oos”.  Note of explanation: “ooo ooo” is the sound we humans tend to attribute to the monkey species. We usually accompany the sound with much unsightly and injudicious scratching under our arms. No, I’m not proud of it, but that’s just how it is. Have you never acted out being a monkey yourself? OK, the “oo oo” sound may be not strictly accurate – but have you ever head a dog actually say “woof woof” or a duck “quack quack or a pig “oink oink”?” Approximation is a Fine Art.

 

The Small Grey Monkey was equipped with magnetic paws which meant he could be wound around a wrist for safe keeping.  And safe he was – right up until the other week when he arrived at our house with the Welsh Contingent and inexplicably got left behind when they departed. It was only because I decided to have a sort out of my handbag that I came across him, loitering at the very bottom of my bag in the doubtful company of my hair-brush, several old raffle tickets and my Weightwatchers Record Card. I immediately knew that he must be returned forthwith.

 

Hence my Mission for Today was a visit to the Post Office. In my hands a card addressed to all three Little Welsh Boys enclosed within which was the Small Grey Monkey.  There was a very long queue at the Post Office.  Every till was occupied by customers with important (i.e. lengthy) business to pursue.  The wait was interminable.  Finally I found myself at the head of the queue, waiting for an announcement to summon me to “Till Number One, please!”

 

The fella at the counter took hold of my precious envelope and turned it over in his hands. Could I tell him, he asked, what my parcel contained? I responded in my usual truthful fashion – a Small Grey Monkey, I replied.  Mr Post Office Counterman looked at me over the top of his spectacles and queried the monetary value of the Small Grey Monkey.  I thought about Young James, fretting for the safe return of his Small Grey Monkey, and replied that he was, as far as I was concerned, priceless...

 

Mr Post Office Counterman eventually charged me 93p postage (cheap at the price!) and told me that there was no longer any need for me to queue up for his attention as I could now go self-service. He pointed to an array of bright red machines which I had waltzed right past, without paying them any attention, when I entered the Post Office. I told him, sweetly, that the very next time I had a Small Grey Monkey in need of transportation via Royal Mail I would, indeed, consider Self Service.

 

I am most relieved to know that the Small Grey Monkey is on his way. He has been despatched – there is nothing more I can do.  There is a small, nagging doubt in my mind about those metallic paws and whether they might wreak havoc in the sorting office. Should I have declared a potential hazard? On balance, and after much careful consideration, I have decided not to worry about it.

 

Sometimes – especially where Monkey Matters are concerned - you just have to accept that Enough is Enough. 

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Latest comments

15.10 | 11:13

I don't remember seeing this first time round.... but thank you for sharing with me. You write beautifully, and brought a tear to my eyes. Lots of love xx

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10.10 | 21:37

Jaqui I think your grandchildren are very lucky. You have spurred me on to write a letter to Amelia who like Hazel is away from home for the first time. 💕

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03.07 | 22:43

Wouldn't have missed it for the world. xx

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12.06 | 02:31

I love that you talk to your plants ... I used to on my allotment ... seemed perfectly rational !

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