As I explained last week, our choir conductor, the Redoubtable Muriel, thinks November 29th is far too early to start singing Christmas carols.
I tend to agree with her
- except that we (the choir) have been asked to sing at a Christmas Concert at the local community centre. The title is a big of a giveaway, don't you think? It may be that our audience (always hoping we can rustle one up) will be expecting a rendition of
Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly or even, at a push, good King Wenceslas. However Muriel, as well as being Redoubtable, is also Immovable.
Earlier this week I watched the Military Wives Choir on TV and
pondered what a Touch of Gareth Malone Magic might work on our choir. This is no reflection on our Muriel, you understand, but it's all about making it into the big time. We, too, could be famous.
I don't think the TV producers would consider that a choir of singers of a Great Age (many of a far, far Greater Age than I) could possibly have viewer appeal. They would be surprised if they only took the time to delve into the characters who turn up at the
Heene Centre every Friday morning. I think we would be a riot. We could be the Latest Phenomenon - like Googlebox. With musical accompaniment. What a winner!
There was a bit of a controversy brewing among
the choir today. Myra, who organises our sessions, reckons we should cut our weekly singalong from an hour and a half to an hour and a quarter. This is on account of the fact that, apparently, we are all getting too tired by 11.30 a.m. For goodness' sake!
I am tempted to say. It's not even lunchtime! Has anyone been caught yawning over the words of Get Me to the Church on Time? How many choir members have been heard snoring in the back row while the rest of us chirruped "Lullaby of Broadway"?
Muriel is in agreement with Myra. She says she can tell we are getting weary when our voices trail away instead of soaring the heights. I feel mildly indignant at this misrepresentation of my performance and that of my fellow
altos, none of us able to reach the soaring heights but all of us staying on track. No trailing away for us, oh dear me no.
The Bacon Bap Brigade continues the discussion in the community centre cafe afterwards.
It is a wide-ranging debate which does not confine itself to the quality of our singing (as in, whether we are tired sounding or not) but also seeks to take into account other important considerations such as whether it will be easier to commandeer the number
of chairs and tables we need for our growing membership if we finish earlier. Yes, indeed, my friends, the Bacon Bap Brigade continues to grow apace. We have extended membership to soup-sippers and salad-crunchers on the basis that All Are Welcome and now
take over half the cafe. We stay on for a good hour, often longer and nobody seems the least bit tired. Obviously the intake of bacon baps may be a reviving factor.
I suggest that, if we are to cut down the
time of our session, then we should not spend so much time nattering before we start. What? I hear you say. Am I not the Ace Natterer? I am referring to the way such a lot of time goes on what might be called "the notices." This would not matter if everybody
listened diligently but every week the notices are read out and then someone pipes up with a question, followed by someone else who asks for this to be repeated as she didn't hear the answer, let alone the question, followed by someone else from the back row
who was talking to his / her neighbour and queries what the original notice was all about. No wonder we sound tired. Myra says maybe she will write out all the notices and circulate them rather than reading them all out - which makes me feel a bit guilty as
it will make even more work for her.
Our last choir session of 2014 will be on December 5th and I rather think people are expecting another duet from Mr B and me. Indeed, Mr B has been warning me for many
months not to leave this to the last minute. Now, I am thinking, the Last Minute is almost upon me and I still haven't decided on our basic tune. Mr B warns me that it must be a tune he feels comfortable singing but so far hasn't come up with any helpful suggestions
of what this might be - though I know he will be quick to exercise the right to veto. I am in a quandary. I have all the words in my head but I badly need a good tune to hang them on with a rousing chorus for everyone to join in.
Any suggestions - or, indeed, offers from Mr Malone - gratefully received.