I do wish I could sing.
I wish Gareth Malone would come along and set up a Community Choir in my neighbourhood which I could join. Actually, I wish Gareth
Malone would just come along. If he came along and set up a choir, I might get a tattoo so I would be noticed, like that amazing singer in the Military Wives Choir. It wouldn't be a real tattoo, you understand, not one involving needles and pain.
But I'm sure someone artistic could paint something meaningful and attractive on some area of visible skin just so that Gareth would sit up and take notice.
I do love to sing - but my voice has tended
to get worse with age. This weekend, in the company of lots of amazing youngsters who sing for pleasure (as I do) but so tunefully (as I don't) has brought my vocal deficiencies into sharp focus.
I can, however, write lyrics to songs for other people to sing. My Summer Holiday songs, recording the minutiae of our annual seaside holidays are legendary. Well, among the family, anyway, which is as good as legendary. My best
rhyme last year (though I say it myself, who shouldn't - as my mother would have chided me) recorded the time we went to check out the grandchildren's names, inscribed on Littlehampton's famous Longest Bench.
"Found the slats on the bench which name us
Didn't know that we were famous!"
Maybe Gareth would sign me up on the strength of
my lyrics (as well as the artistic pretend tattoo). He's taught boys to sing, and military wives, and a whole community - I reckon it's time he tackled the challenge of the golden oldies who have lost what voice they ever had - but still
love to sing. He could call it "Retiring in (Musical) Style"......