Apparently the lovely Jools Oliver has confessed to checking husband Jamie's text messages. I should be so lucky.
Mr B does have a mobile phone. It's
pretty ancient but age hardly matters as he rarely turns it on. He does concede, when challenged, that it might be a good idea to take it with him when we are both off and about in different directions. However, come the next day, he's
off out of the door and his mobile is still there on the kitchen work surface, skulking somewhere behind the kettle, on top of a post-it note which reads "Put Rubbish Out."
I did once
try to introduce him to texting and sent him off to town with instructions to keep in touch. I understand that this is called "learning through doing." When I hadn't heard from him, I texted to ask his whereabouts and, ages later, a text came through.
It simply read "onbus". And thereby hangs a tale.
Apparently Mr B's somewhat terse message was due to the fact that he hadn't remembered how to put spaces between words - hence "onbus".
What happened next is truly amazing and shows why I love this man. He went into the Orange shop (remember this is a man we are talking about and, in my experience, men rarely like to admit their ignorance about anything, especially if it is technological)
and asked the girl behind the counter to show him what to do. Personally, I think that is pretty impressive.
The shop assistant took hold of his phone, studied it, then handed it back to
him shaking with laughter. This was because in the meantime I had texted him my answer, which was somewhat scathing: "You'll have to do better than that, bonny lad!"
To be honest, I can't talk.
Unlike Mr B, I text all the time - but my texts are lengthy epistles, all including correct punctuation, words spelt out in full, and a distinct lack of those bewildering abbreviations which are at the very heart of text messaging. What's
more I always manage to accidentally "send" in mid-message, which means I have to send yet another text (or two or four) to finish off what I was saying.
Obviously I have no idea
how good Jamie Oliver is at texting. But if Jools finds his texts worth the checking then he is presumably somewhat better at it than Mr B.........