Jaqui's Daily Blog

The Emergency That Never Was

Everything was going swimmingly until I pressed the emergency button.


This is Faris speaking, just in case you were worrying about Nanni being in an emergency. The fact of the matter is that there was no emergency. Until I created one.


I am sorry to keep you in suspense but first of all I need to tell you about the rest of the day. Nanni calls this "putting things in context." I haven't the faintest idea what she is talking about unless it's something to do with putting everything back in toy box before we left for home. Auntie Kazza couldn't work out why there seemed to be more going back into the toy box than I had tipped out all over the floor shortly after our arrival.


It would have been altogether more understandable had Daddy been with us because when he clears away he hoovers up everything that he sees and stashes it with Maximum Efficiency wherever he sees fit. Nanni says last time he came with us, after we left, she couldn't find the table cloth, the place mats and the coasters anywhere till she thought to check the toy box. And there they were! When it comes to Putting Things in Context, that is, in the toy box, there is nobody quite like my Daddy.


The Twinkles (aka Tala and Lilia) and I have a new favourite word - danger! Mummy uses it quite a lot, I don't know why. Nanni says it is a deterrent which I imagine is just another, longer, more complicated word for danger. I believe in using simple words but to great effect. Nanni likes using long words, she especially likes trying to get the three of us to copy what she says. We do our best to humour her, she is our Nanni after all and we only have one of her. Which is probably A Good Thing.


Anyway, the thing about danger is that, if you don't heed the warning signs, you could find yourself experiencing The Big Ouch. One of the first things I did when we arrived at Nanni and Grandad's house today was to investigate the kitchen drawers to assess how much danger was lurking within. All I can say is, there was a lot. It's amazing, really, that Nanni is hale and hearty, given the sheer amount of danger with which she surrounds herself.


We thought it might be an idea to give Grandad a bit of a break from the Merry Mayhem we had created, so we visited the Park on the Beach where we could play at pirates to our hearts' content. Then we came home and had pasta and jelly. No, not both at once, don't be silly. After that we took our Sticky Selves up to the bath where we did an excellent job of flooding the bathroom floor. We don't do things by halves, my sisters and I. Nanni would expect no less of us.


So far, so run of the mill. The grown-ups had their dinner which was what Nanni called a "Cheat's Roast Dinner" because she asked Auntie Bessie to make most of it. No, I don't know who Auntie Bessie is, but hopefully Mummy will invite her to the Twinkles' birthday party next week so that I can make her acquaintance and find out how she started out on the Cheating Business. 


We were getting ready to go home when I noticed the button on this machine on the telephone table in the hall. I hadn't noticed it before but it was glowing red as if to say: "Press me!" So I did. Well, how was I to know it was Grandad's emergency lifeline button to be used if he gets himself into trouble? I mean, I am always getting into trouble but nobody has suggested I should have an emergency button to press.


It seemed I was in everybody's bad books - but when it comes to keeping a cool head, I have to hand it to Nanni. A voice boomed out from the machine asking what was wrong and could they help. You could tell they were all ready to send out an ambulance which, to be honest, would have been extremely thrilling but probably would have made me even more unpopular.


Nanni didn't hesitate for a second. "Just testing!" she answered the voice, quick as anything. I rather think we got away with it.


That's my Nanni, there is nobody quite like her for dealing with an Emergency. Especially One That Never Was.

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Latest comments

03.07 | 22:43

Wouldn't have missed it for the world. xx

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12.06 | 02:31

I love that you talk to your plants ... I used to on my allotment ... seemed perfectly rational !

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05.06 | 22:01

Sounds like a perfect day Jacqui, happy birthday for tomorrow, love Val xx

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07.12 | 15:48

what details have you got on your mysterious Wilde?

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