We're all going on a Summer Holiday! And, believe me, I do mean ALL....
You have no idea how difficult it was to find just one week in the whole
year when all five families (that's 17 of us altogether) were free to join up for a Family Summer Holiday. But by hook and by crook, we did it - and, come Friday, we will be heading off to Devon to set up our holiday home-from-home for a week.
We booked our holiday home about eighteen months ago on the basis that we were unlikely to find anything else that so nearly met everybody's requirements. En-suite bathrooms for those who need a bit of
privacy! A pool for the swimmers! Located on a working farm for the animal-lovers! An American-sized fridge for the foodies! A washing-machine for those who will want to wash-and-go! A table long enough to seat us all in comfort
(and if there could be one outside, as well as inside - well that would be just perfect...!) Sorry if I sound like an advertisement for Happy Holidays Inc but, believe me, it's quite something for one place to satisfy so fully the Important Requests
to be Taken Into Consideration When Booking a Family Holiday.
With four days to go, what's currently exercising everybody's minds is the Mammoth Tesco's Delivery Order. The Son-and-Only,
for reasons best known to himself (and who are we to argue with him?) has taken on the not-inconsiderable job of Organiser of the Food List. It's possible, I suppose, that the spirit of volunteering has grabbed him, following the
tributes paid last night to the Olympics Volunteers? More likely, he was just afraid that, unless someone got a grip, we'd arrive on Friday without so much as a tea-bag between us.
is nothing if not efficient. We have all had a questionnaire to answer, detailing our preferences on milk, breakfast cereal, bread, margarine v butter, decaf v caffeinated. You get the idea. I have responded in full explaining that Mr B,
like me, drinks skimmed milk but that he does have a sneaky tendency to sample other people's green top and blue top if he finds it in the fridge. Also that he will bring his own coffee which he will happily share with anyone who likes their coffee of
the rich, strong, keep-you-awake-at-night variety. I'm not sure there will be many takers.
Mr B is extremely excited about the Delivery Order for a rather less than honourable reason. Among
his particular "hates" (along with ants and traffic jams) are those Tesco's Personal Shoppers. You know the ones I mean - they surf the aisles, hell-bent on sourcing the apparently endless requirements of their on-line customers. They
push large, out-of-control trolleys which have a habit of careering into the paths of the poor, unsuspecting shoppers who have actually taken the time and the trouble to jump in their cars or on the bus and visit the store in person.
Mr B is convinced that they see him coming and make a bee-line for whatever aisle he is quietly browsing in, with the sole intention of making his own shopping experience as difficult and uncomfortable as possible.
But now, he crows, the boot is on the other foot. At some distant Tescos store in Deepest Devon, a Personal Shopper will soon be gathering up food for the veritable army which is our family. It will be a very, very long Delivery
Order which will take an inordinately long time to source and will probably need at least two or three trolleys. There will be many, many irate shoppers who will be muttering dire threats about inconvenience, clogged-up aisles and how on-line customers
always appear to take precedence.
But Mr B will not, for once, be among them.