I am sure you are all eager to know how I am getting along with my Misfit.
Well, to be honest, I'm not sure at all as the only person who has shown any interest in my
progress, or (more likely) lack of progress, is the Youngest of the Darling Daughters and this is only because I have taken to emailing her daily updates, to which she generally responds with a few well-chosen words of encouragement.
When I walked all the way to the Post Office at the end of the road and back in the pouring rain on Thursday (I was on a mission to post a very important document by Special Delivery) she was quick to commiserate with me on the fact
that I failed to tot up as many steps as anticipated - and she made the totally reasonable point that I should have been awarded double points for walking in the rain and getting soaked through. Unfortunately Miss Fit only measures steps, miles and calories
and doesn't appear to be able to factor in Weather Related Issues. She also reckons the distance from our house to the end of the road where the Post Office sits is only just over half a mile while my car, the Grand Old Lady, has always assured me that it
is 0.7 miles.
I rather think Miss Fit is fibbing, being more inclined to believe my car who is, indeed, Grand, Old (14 years next month) and most definitely a Lady, especially since being treated to a complimentary
wash and brush-up at the garage to compensate for the angst of going through her MOT. Maybe my Misfit is a Misfibber?
Up until today, the best score I had managed on the Walking Front was 798 out of 1000.
Not bad, I can hear you saying - but on the succeeding days I hardly reached halfway. I therefore decided that today I should attempt to work out exactly where, and for how long, I needed to walk in order to succeed.
I started by taking the long way round to the shops and back. Miss Fit described this as "Moderate Activity." Well, it may be only "moderate" to you, Madam, but I'll have you know I was lugging two shopping bags on the way home which should, surely,
have been worth extra. By my calculations I would need to visit the local shops three or four times a day to get anywhere near my 1000 points. This fitness lark could start being very costly.
My best performance
was walking to and from Church last Sunday but even that didn't help me hit the Magic Number. However if I could add in a round trip to the Post Office at the end of the road on a Sunday that might just do the trick. The Post Office, of course, won't be open
on a Sunday but let's not quibble about minor details...
This afternoon I needed to go to Tesco's to collect a few essentials for Mr B. Normally I would take the car but - you're there before me, I can tell.
Well, no, not to Tesco's, obviously. Would a walk to a Tesco's and back, added to my "Moderate Activity" of the morning add up to 1000 points? I reckoned that, as Mr B was engrossed in watching Spurs play West Bromwich Albion on TV, he wouldn't miss me if
I were a little longer than usual. It would be a good piece of research anyway, I told myself, setting off from home with a spring in my step and a certain enthusiasm.
My steps were not quite so springy and
my enthusiasm had flagged somewhat by the time I arrived outside the Community Centre on the edge of Tesco's car park. I thought I might call into the café there for a restorative cuppa but it was closed. A notice outside warmly welcomed members of
a visiting Short Mat Bowls Club but the doors were firmly closed to non-bowlers. Of which, sadly, since my old club closed, I am one.
I walked up and down all the supermarket aisles, taking not a bit of notice
of the products on sale. Every step I took, a step nearer my target. When I found, on leaving the supermarket, that a security tag had been left on one of my purchases, it didn't worry me in the least having to retrace my steps. Every little helps. As someone
On the way home it started to spit with rain. The sign at the bus stop said the Pulse bus would be along in two minutes. Resolutely I set my face against temptation and marched on. By the time I
reached the next bus stop, however, the rain was heavier and the Pulse - my favourite bus - was trundling towards me. I could resist no longer..target, or no target.
At home, I consulted Miss Fit to check
by how many steps I had missed my target. Unbelievably, a whole shiny circle of dots lit up and flashed congratulations at me. A thousand points gained! Moreover, I had engaged in "Vigorous Activity." That's right - vigorous. It means strong, healthy, full
of energy. My Trusty Thesaurus suggests synonyms like mettlesome, ardent, zealous, passionate. Or, alternatively, wild, uncontrolled, unrestrained, unbridled. It seems I have become A Whole New Person.
all it took was a trip to the supermarket.