It seems quite a while since Nanni let me loose on the Daily Blog but apparently my fans have been asking for me...
That's what people were telling her, anyway, when she
met up with folk she knew long ago from her working days. Obviously, having reached A Great Age now, Nanni doesn't do any work anymore. From what I can make out, she just sits around looking after Grandad all day and thinking up things to write about on the
Daily Blog. Me, I am busy all the time.
You have probably cottoned on by now that this is Faris writing. Also known as The Rascal (for reasons which escape me but everybody else seems to accept as uncannily
accurate.) I am well known, to Daily Blog readers at least, for my Fearless Opinions, of which I have a great many. One day, when I am older, perhaps five years old or so, I intend to have my own blog which will go viral, on account of its controversial nature.
I am not quite sure what going viral means - is it anything to do with the roundabout at the park? Occasionally, when I have my own on-line presence, I will let Nanni write a guest blog, but not very often because she isn't fearless enough in her opinions.
I expect you are wanting some kind of update from me? Well, I am still at pre-school where I am well-known for my fearlessness and honesty. Mummy says she only has to ask me if I have been, shall we say, a bit on the
naughty side and I will admit it immediately. Nanni says I am like George Washington, who apparently never told a lie. Is that the same George, do you think, who is Peppa Pig's brother? Life gets very confusing sometimes. Too many Georges for a start. There
aren't too many boys called Faris which is helpful. Nanni says I am a One-Off. Which makes me sound like a supermarket bargain, though I'm sure she doesn't mean it unkindly.
We have all settled down in our
new home which happens to be very near Auntie Kazza's home. Whenever Mummy's nerves get frazzled - this tends to happen around bath time though I don't know why - she phones Auntie Kazza and begs to be rescued. As if Auntie Kazza were a lifeguard or the Air
Ambulance or something similarly Emergency-Related. Usually if she can't think up a good enough excuse she comes round. This is the Good Thing about Auntie Kazza, she can't ever come up with a good excuse because, like me and George, she Cannot Tell a Lie.
What happens to your nerves when they get frazzled, by the way? Do they turn into those crispy, bacon-flavoured snacks which I'm not allowed to eat? If they're made of frazzled nerves, I wouldn't want to eat them anyway.
I'll stick to Hula Hoops and cheesy Wotsits thank you very much.
Tala and Lilia, the Twinkles, are getting bossier by the day. Honestly, they don't seem to realise my place in this family as Eldest Child and
Only Son. It is a tremendous sponsorability being an Older Brother and all I ask is a little respect. Whatever that is. The trouble is that there are two of them and only one of me. And, being Twins, they tend to stick together. I have generally found that
the old saying: "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" makes a lot of sense. As a result we do a lot of bouncing on the beds, climbing in and out of boxes, and taking off our wellington boots, all the better to enjoy the joys of the muddy garden.
Every Saturday morning I go to Mighty Kickers where I am learning to play football. I think I look the part, even if sometimes Mummy has to run on the pitch to show me what I'm supposed to be doing. I wear this cool kit which
makes me feel like a Proper Footballer. One day I am hoping to make my Grandad and Uncle Steven proud of my footballing skills. I particularly like the fact that Mighty Kickers positively encourages kicking. I wonder if there is a club called Mighty Throwers?
I'd be so very good at that. The Twinkles are going to start football soon but they will be going to Little Kickers. That will hopefully put them in their places. For once.
Nanni and Grandad turned up on the
IPad today. They were playing at FaceTime. We could only see their faces but we made sure they saw all of us, careering about like mad things. Well, Mummy didn't exactly career, to be fair. We showed them our bedrooms now they are all decorated - mine has
massive dinosaurs all over the walls while the Twins have butterflies. Dinosaurs are best, IMHO. They're not so, well, fluttery if you know what I mean.
It was good seeing Nanni and Grandad on the screen though
they weren't quite as exciting as Andy and his dinosaur adventures. Not that I would tell them that, of course, I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. I just really, really hope they don't ask me outright because, as I told you, I won't be able to tell a
I wonder if that George Washington ever had the same trouble?