I have that strange, slightly disorientated feeling I always get on the first day back home after a holiday. Do you know what I mean?
So I am doing
what I always do on these occasions - I am looking back through all the photographs I have taken and realising, not for the first time, that I am not the ace photographer I like to think I am.
Here are three small boys, playing in the sand. One appears to be stretched out over two adjacent rocks, like a spindly bridge; another is perched above him, crouched as if ready to swoop, like some kind of bird of prey; the third has his
back to the camera and appears to be gesticulating wildly at either the bridge or the bird of prey. It is impossible to see any of their faces as the person behind the camera (that'll be me, then) is standing too far away and has failed to use the zoom
function, so nobody will ever know who the sandboys are or have the faintest idea what they are playing. Mind you, if I had used the zoom function, the photograph would probably have depicted half a sun hat or someone's ear. I am not
too good at zooming.
Here is one of five people sitting at a picnic table. There are two large mountain bikes in the foreground, taking centre stage. This was a carefully staged photograph
which was meant to be a humourous reflection on the fact that one of the Sons-in-Law had persuaded another to join him on a gruelling trip across Dartmoor (The invitee was enthusiastic but ill prepared.) Sadly, now I come to review my efforts, I suspect
anyone viewing this particular picture will simply comment what a charming photo this would have been, had the bikes not been in the way...
Ah, but here's
a better one. The whole family group is sitting round the dinner table. You can see most people's faces as only a couple or three are looking in the wrong direction and at least half are smiling. Or possibly grimacing. It's a pity the photograph
wasn't taken as dinner was served up so that the camera would record for posterity a delicious, home-cooked meal, rather than dirty plates and the debris of our evening meal. Plus there appear to be rather a lot of empty beer and wine bottles on the table,
giving QUITE the wrong impression, I must say.....
It's a very good thing, I reflect, that two of the Darling Daughters have, between them, snapped over 1000 photographs to record our Family Holiday.
Left to me or Mr B our pictorial record would have been much poorer. Not that Mr B's photographs are as bad as mine, I hasten to say. Mr B is a Very Good Photographer. Indeed, his photo of his club's Bowling Green under water following
the storms earlier this year, took over the whole front page of the local newspaper. That's what you call fame.
No, the problem is that Mr B owns a Super Duper Camera which must not, on any account, be exposed to anything likely to cause it any damage - like sand, for example. It is also a bulky item compared to my handy Point-And-Shoot which makes it a Complete Liability when it comes to trips
to the beach, rambles through country parks, visits to theme parks and, in general, the stuff of family holiday outings. Most of the time, therefore, the Super Duper Camera stays safely in its carry-bag - though it did emerge towards the end of the holiday
to capture the photographs of our Magnificent Seven (which will shortly appear on the grandchildren's webpage - so don't forget to check it out!)
At last! Some really rather good shots.
A great one of the Son-And-Only and his lovely Missus sitting at a restaurant table, all beaming smiles and happy faces. And an excellent one of Mr B at the same table, too. Oh, yes, and a really lovely close-up of me with a slightly soppy
grin on my face.....
Hold on a minute! These happy scenes were not snapped by me at all, but by three year old James, let loose on my camera to keep him entertained while we waited an inordinately
long time for our meal.
Well done, James! Thanks to you, I'm feeling snap happy!