You will never guess what we bought today! No, I mean, you will NEVER guess what we bought, not in a month of Sundays!
We bought a Gup. And not just
any old Gup, you understand. We bought a Gup X Shoot & Rescue Vehicle. It came with Captain Barnacles, a spider crab, a horseshoe crab and - wait for it - something called a "snot sea cucumber". Life really doesn't get sweeter, does it,
than when you can spend a Saturday morning acquiring a snot sea cucumber?
Of course, if you are really smart and recognised the picture accompanying this blog, and if you have a child who loves The
Octonauts, then you might possibly have had some inkling where this blog was heading. It's Young James's 4th birthday on Sunday and what he really, really wants is a Group X Shoot & Rescue Vehicle. And Mr B and I, proud and doting grandparents
that we are, really, really wanted to oblige. Especially as Young James didn't even ask. In fact his response, when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, was "Anything!" Bless the boy, his dad tells me a Gup X is what he wants and
a Gup X he shall have. Whatever it might be.
Mr B took charge of the actual purchase which he made over the Internet. This involved a good deal of wrangling on the telephone - which isn't
what internet purchase is all about, unless I've got it wrong? But unfortunately the on-line company, which turned out to be Littlewoods by another name, did not want to just sell us a Gup X, period, they wanted to tie us down to paying by instalments
and signing up as regular customers, so that they could send us details of special offers we didn't want. We, as you know, just wanted a Gup.
Mr B was by now on a mission. He
telephoned the company and demanded to speak to a person. Then, once he had secured someone to talk to, he went into his "I am a poor, feeble pensioner, forced to pay out 5p a minute to talk to you, you must phone me back" routine.
He does this SO well. When I listen to him, my heart goes out to him, the poor old thing, obviously living on the breadline, going without meals every other day, wrapping a threadbare rug around his shivering
shoulders because he can't afford to turn the fire on when the weather gets cold in the Autumn evenings. Even though I know I'm cooking him his favourite curry tonight and he looks to be neither starving nor freezing. As always, it worked. They
phoned him back. He ordered the Gup.
And what a toy it turns out to be! You can launch slime discs from it! You can use the zip line and shredder to rescue creatures in distress! You can open the back
door to release the Octo ski for a solo mission! I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about. But Young James is a bright boy and, moreover, he will be four which is a great age to be. He will
know exactly what to do with the Gup X, the spider crab and its mate, the horseshoe crab. I have enormous faith, too, in his ability to handle the snot sea cucumber. He will get exactly what he wants for his birthday.
And that's quite enough for Mr B and me...