It is a truth universally acknowledged that once a person starts clearing out a bedroom, he or she will inevitably create more chaos than previously existed. Had Jane Austen continued her famous opening words thus, Pride
and Prejudice would have taken on a completely different slant and, indeed, may never have made it into print.
I have been pondering on this Universal Truth today
as I seek to bring order to the room where my eldest two (Not So Very Little) Welsh Boys will be sleeping this weekend. The boys will be amazed to discover that there has been a great turnaround in their bedroom which I am hoping will meet with their approval.
This morning, the Inestimable Kay, who helps me keep our house in at least some semblance of order, dismantled the built-in computer desk for me. This was much more difficult
than it sounds, involving the removal of a considerable number of screws, not to mention some mighty whacks with a large and ferocious-looking hammer to persuade the desk away from the wall (to which it had formed a fiendishly strong attachment) and a tricky
trip down the stairs carrying the heavy pieces. “I’m much stronger than I look!” Kay informed me, proudly. She is, indeed - a tiny slip of a girl who can wield a hammer with the best of them.
“Your mum is Superwoman!” I told her son, Harvey, who accompanies his mother during the school holidays and helps me with my Block Craft while at the same time introducing me to the delights
of other, more warlike, computer games where you have to kill or be killed. (Today's game of choice was called Jail Break. I felt it my duty to point out that real prison would be nowhere near as much fun, just in case Harvey might be entertaining Criminal
Thoughts.) I used to only play Block Craft with the Welsh Boys so Young Harvey’s help during the school holidays means I will be able to impress my grandsons with the buildings, animals and strangely-named block-like people I have created in their absence.
I have never liked the built-in computer desk because it is simply too big. So big that when the boys come to stay and I want to pull the spare bed out from its resting place
underneath the single bed, I can't set it up properly and it has to rest on the floor. This in turn creates inevitable arguments over which boy can sleep on high and which has to be satisfied with sleeping low down. It also makes story-telling tricky, let
alone the goodnight ritual which involves clambering over both beds on hands and knees in order to claim a hug and a kiss. I hope you can picture all this - would a diagram help, do you think? To be fair, Mr B has always been perfectly happy with the desk
as it was large enough to accommodate his AppleMac, his printer and various other essential Technology Related Items.
Now that both AppleMac and printer
have gone to meet their Maker, in Apple Heaven or wherever, the desk is surplus to requirements and - thanks to Superwoman Kay - it is no more. Its removal will necessitate some redecorating (which, being me, I had failed to factor in) but, for the moment,
the twin beds, standing side by side as their manufacturer intended, hide the worst of the damage.
Unfortunately a number of cardboard boxes had been tucked away
under the desk, out of sight and very definitely out of mind. The contents of said cardboard boxes are now strewn all over (I) both twin beds; (ii) the landing; (iii) my king-size bed; and (iv) my bedroom floor. I have spent the entire afternoon trying to
restore order from chaos and I have hardly made a dent in the task in hand. I have until Saturday afternoon when the Welsh Contingent arrive to sort it all out.
a positive note, I have discovered lots of things I had forgotten about. Photographs, books, diaries, an aerial photograph of our house taken in approximately 2003 and, sweetest of all, the 3D scan pictures of Our Rascal before he was born, looking just like
his father, then as now.
I think I should clear out the bedrooms more often. Like, every ten years or so…