So here I am, sitting all on my lonesome in the bar of the Sands Hotel on the Isle of Wight, looking out over the sea and blogging away. Sands, sea and blog - what more could I want on a Tuesday afternoon?
It's very peaceful, sitting here. Mr B and all the other 40 plus bowlers (I'm talking numbers, not age...) have set off for the afternoon to two different island bowls clubs where they are planning
to "whip" the opposition. At least I hope that's the correct expression. As you all know I am not, by any means, a sporty person. Sporting, yes - at least I like to think so. Sporty, definitely not.
It was not nearly so peaceful a few hours ago when Mr B decided it was high time he started work as the club's Official Photographer. Armed with his Super Duper Camera, his first task was to settle on the best
location for the official tour photograph. This appeared to involve much moving of wooden picnic tables. No, it didn't make sense to me at the time, either. But it seems it was all about grouping people - small people sitting on the seats,
bigger ones perched on the tables, while the rest of us non-bowlers (also known as the hangers-on) grouped ourselves at the back so that you couldn't see we weren't fetchingly attired in the official club uniform.
Having arranged the set, but before actually capturing the group photograph, he insisted on taking snaps of every bowler, either with friend, or partner, or alone. Some people were keen, others less so
- but nobody escaped. Oh, no, Mr B on a mission is not a man to be swayed by feeble excuses like "But I always take an awful photograph"; "I haven't washed my hair today"; or "I'm sure you took my photograph yesterday..." I have decided that
the two indispensable assets the official photographer needs (apart from the Super Duper Camera, of course) are a bossy nature and selective deafness. Those two assets became even more vital when it
came to getting the whole group together. Herding cats came to mind....
I'm sure everyone will be as pleased as punch when they see the official photographs. I feel quite certain that they
will treasure them as a much valued memento of the 2012 Bowls Tour.
Now, face this way everyone. Look at the "nice man" behind the camera. Can you please just say cheese, for goodness