Jaqui's Daily Blog

How To Entertain A Ladybird

I am feeling somewhat challenged. All on account of a rather special visitor I’m expecting tomorrow.

 

He won’t be alone, of course. He will be accompanying the Middle of the Darling Daughters and her trio of Rampaging Rascals. But, you see, while I know exactly what the RRs will enjoy (turning out the kitchen drawers, flushing the loo, weighing themselves over and over again on the bathroom scales - you get the idea) I have no idea at all how to entertain their companion.

 

He is only staying with the family over the half-term holiday so it is beholden on me to Make An Effort. I would like him to go home / back to school full of stories about the fun time he had at Nanni and Grandad’s House. Okay, I accept we are not his grandparents, not being red, round and spotty, but I’d like to think we might bond over the course of his visit and become, well, kindred spirits. If, that is, it is possible to be a kindred spirit with a ladybird…

 

Yes, Lenny the Ladybird is coming to visit. Mr B and I have seen pictures of him on Facebook so I am pretty sure we will recognise him, being - as I said before - red, round and spotty. That’s Lenny who is red, round and spotty, not Mr B and I - I really shouldn’t have to explain, now should I? I did have to check (my entomological knowledge being as sparse as the spots on a less colourful beetle) whether a Ladybird could be male, being a lady, don’t you know, but it’s fine. After all, whoever heard of a lordbird? 

 

From what I can tell, Lenny is on loan from Ladybird Class at Hook Infants School and has been living the high life at the home of the Rampaging Rascals. Now it’s up to me to make his day tomorrow. Does anybody have any ideas?

 

The Middle of the Darling Daughters says not to worry, the whole idea is that Lenny will participate in all the same activities as the Rascals - but I don’t think he’ll be able to open the kitchen drawers, flush the loo or weigh himself on the bathroom scales. What do ladybirds do with themselves anyway?

 

I remember the Ladybird Summer in 1977 when swarms of the Spotted Ones terrorised us. Lenny is obviously far too young to have been alive way back then and I am not one to visit the sins of the fathers on their sons. Plus I’m sure Lenny won’t be a terrorist. Will he?

 

I try to think of All Things Ladybird Related. There’s that song, isn’t there: “Ladybird, Ladybird, fly away home/ your house is on fire…” Oh, maybe not. I don’t want to be responsible for giving the poor beetle nightmares. We do have a Ladybird Game in our games cupboard, too. Maybe I should retrieve that from the cupboard to help Lenny feel at home? Plus there’s my ladybird egg timer. I could put that out on the doorstep, along with the Giant Penguin, to welcome him.  

 

We will be sorted at mealtimes anyway because the plastic table and chairs set I bought for the Trio has four chairs - Lenny will be able to sit on the lime green one, which is the chair that none of the Trio like, preferring the primary colours sported by the other three chairs. Obviously this does depend on whether Lenny is the picky type but I haven’t been furnished with that information. 

 

The reason I am so keen to do my best by Lenny is that I can imagine how hard it must be to spend a whole week with aliens. That is, of course, alien to a ladybird, you understand. However he isn’t quite alone in the world - Lenny has a girlfriend. Well, she may not actually be a girlfriend, more likely a ladyfriend. Her name is Lily and she is spending half-term with one of the Rascal’s classmates. I gather the two ladybirds will be getting together sometime over the holiday which I find quite reassuring. They will be able to share notes on their Half Term Experiences before they post them on BugAdvisor. I hope Lenny will be kind to me in reporting my efforts on his behalf.

 

Mostly I’m happy simply because I feel it will be so good for them to get together, in all their red, round, spottiness.

 

Don’t you agree?

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Latest comments

Today | 08:25

Beautiful piece. Thank you. Sally

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30.08 | 19:32

P.s. I absolutely adored Gipsy Tart, and, yes, my son has his work cut out!!

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30.08 | 19:26

I too went to school in Kent where my Aunt worked as a dinner-lady. I got seconds sometimes thirds of my favourite pud, the said Gipsy Tart. My son’s a dentist!

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21.08 | 21:28

Also, Anne always walked the long way home after Rangers so that I didn't have to walk alone down that lane in the dark. I've never forgotten that kindness...

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