Where do I start?
I mean, have you missed me while I have been away? I have certainly missed randomly rambling on about my
Life and Times over the past two weeks - so much has happened, much of it Blog-worthy. So, here I am again, like a One Armed Bandit, trying to capture the most amusing moments of my somewhat challenging fortnight. I reckon I can squeeze at least three days’
worth out of them without really trying.
There were the golden Indian temples, for starters, and my Harry Potter moment, not to mention riding shotgun with George
Ezra in Recovery. Just an ordinary visit to the operating theatre, you might say...
The Youngest of the Darling Daughters (I have nicknamed her “Mrs Always
There”) drove me to St Richard’s Hospital in Chichester at Stupid O’Clock in the morning. She had very sweetly refrained from drinking her first coffee of the morning in front of me and my parched mouth. Little things mean a lot, don’t
you know? We had been warned by my friend Sue who had accompanied her husband on a similar trip, that the Pre Admissions Area was hard to locate, especially at 7 a.m., given a Significant Lack of Signage. Indeed on operating days, I am given to understand,
the corridors are haunted by nervous incoming patients accosting early morning cleaners for directions. Thanks to Sue, we knew more or less where we were going.
the Pre Admissions Area, we joined two knees, a hip and a shoulder, all waiting to be assigned to one of three operating theatres. I was “due down” (what an unsettling expression that is) at 11 a.m. or shortly after. A reassuring familiarity was
provided by a seaside picture on the wall, showing three small girls playing in the waves, watched by two young women chatting on the sand nearby. The very same picture decorates one of the walls of the hall where my Singing for Pleasure choir meets - the
children remind me of the Darling Daughters, the two chatting women are my Little Sister Maggie and I. Like us, their jaws will surely not rust.
The Youngest of
the Darling Daughters and I who, as regular readers know, have enjoyed many a Theatre Date together, took the obligatory “sad selfie”, giggling away manically as only those experiencing an onset of nerves are wont to do before my daughter was told
to leave. I asked her to take my mobile phone with her for safety - had I known I would still be waiting to “go down” at 1.45 p.m. I’d have kept our lines of communication open...
Sitting in the preparation bays, the two knees and I discussed how long we had each waited for our Theatre Date. This was like those conversations you have on sun-beds with fellow holiday makers in five star hotels on sunshine
holidays where you discover they are enjoying the same luxury holiday for a quarter of the cost you have shelled out. It’s a good thing I am not one to bear a grudge - I was very pleased for both knees that they had been seen so quickly. Well, maybe.
The Pre Admissions Area was very chilly. The Nurse in Charge kept fetching me extra blankets to wrap around my shivering form (once I start shivering, I can’t stop
- it’s just the way I am) and calling Maintenance to report the problem. When the Man from Maintenance finally arrived, he identified the problem - the thermostat on the wall simply needed to be turned up. The poor Nurse in Charge was beside herself
with the most abject of apologies.
By this time the two knees had both “gone down” (I met them both the following day when we all visited the
X-Ray Suite together so it was good to know that we had all gone down and come up again successfully) and the afternoon patients were starting to arrive. The thermostat had been turned up high and I was starting to simmer gently, like brussel sprouts being
prepared for Christmas dinners. “Your turn, at last!” declared the Nurse in Charge.
Off I went - and at this point I will end today’s Blog.
“What about the Indian Temples?” I hear you shout, “What was the Harry Potter moment? And what was George Ezra doing in the Recovery Room?” I’m afraid you will just have to wait until tomorrow.
Such a Terrible Tease I am...