The Lovely Kay, who helps me keep my house in order, is too kind to mention it but is clearly puzzled by the fact that I have a tin of Homepride white wine and cream sauce on my bedside table. She is, of course, used to
my idiosyncrasies but this is of a Whole New Order.
Had I been following instructions to the letter then it would have been a tin of Heinz baked beans, nestling
there in the company of the radio, a photo of our Golden Wedding, and a card from granddaughter Eleanor which always makes me smile when I read it. The thing is that Mr B and I, when hankering after baked beans, have moved in the direction of Heinz Snap Pots,
on the basis that one snap pot serves the two of us perfectly. If we use a large tin of beans, then only half the tin will find itself in the microwave, heating up nicely for our lunch, while the other half will languish, forgotten, in the fridge until the
Youngest of the Darling Daughters visits and clears out all the out of date food in said fridge, somehow managing not to tut as she does so. Buying Snap Pots is my contribution to avoiding food waste. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. At least
for the time being, until I can think up a better excuse.
Back to the beans, I hear you urge me, before everybody loses the plot. Everybody, that is, who hasn’t already lost the plot. I would
like to suggest you stay with it as it will be worth it but I am not sure even I, proud author of the Daily Blog, can make such a rash claim.
clear to Kay when I filled her in on my visit to the physiotherapist yesterday and her introduction to a whole new set of exercises. One of which was an adaptation of an exercise I was already carrying out every morning, lying in my bed, before I leapt up
(figuratively speaking) to face the day. In future, Sweet Sophia advised, I needed to add a weight - a tin of baked beans, she said, would be perfect. Hence, on account of only having Snap Pots in my larder, you will understand why I resorted to White Wine
and Cream Sauce. You know it makes sense. The Lovely Kay was pleased to hear that I had not completely taken leave of my sanity.
Being fired up with a fresh sense
of purpose, given my new set of exercises, I have secured the star chart produced for me by the Youngest of the Darling Daughters onto one of the kitchen cupboards with Blu-Tak. My first challenge was to decide how to describe each exercise, in order to remember
it. I wasn't at all sure I would be able to remember what on earth “assisted active shoulder flex” is when it is at home and what, pray, is the difference between “scapular retraction” and “active shoulder fraction”? I decided
to make up my own names for each exercise.
Hence exercise one I have titled “Beans in Bed.” This should really read, in the interests of strict accuracy,
“White Wine and Cream Sauce in Bed” but there isn’t room to write that in the little box on my chart so I am applying a little journalistic licence on the grounds that I know what I mean. Exercise two is “Circles.” At the moment
this exercise doesn’t require a tin of either baked beans or white wine and cream sauce but, as my Recovering Shoulder gains in strength, one or other can be incorporated to add a certain weightiness. Exercise three is titled Up The Wall (my least favourite
exercise), exercise four is Blue Band Down, while exercise five is Pink Band Outwards. (I already had a blue elasticated band fastened to the door knob of the hall cupboard but now I have added a pink band to the front door knob - necessity is the mother of
invention as someone much cleverer than I once said.) I send a photo of the chart to my daughter whose response arrives suspiciously quickly: “Very creative!” This is the thing with text messaging, the recipient has no way of knowing whether the
sender is being (i) serious; (ii) only kidding; or (iii) keeping the Aged Parent happy.
I check up on a few quotes about the value of exercise. My favourite is:
“If fitness came in a bottle, everyone would be in good shape.”
For bottle, substitute a can of white wine and cream sauce. And please (but only
if you are really interested) watch this space...