Tomorrow evening I have been invited to a party where apparently I will be expected to dance in my doorstep.
worry, it’s a virtual party - you know me, I am generally an extremely obedient person so I won’t be venturing out of my home and so disobeying the instructions from Boris. I mean, he looks Proper Poorly so it’s the least I can do listen,
take note and stay home to party.
I’m not quite sure if I need to dress up. I suppose it could, at a stretch, be a Fancy Dress party which would present
me with quite a problem, not having anything remotely fancy in my wardrobe. Nor do I have that many dresses anymore, my normal Retirement Attire consisting of trousers and tops. Even worse than Fancy Dress would be Smart Casual. I mean, what on earth does
that mean when it’s about? Is it not the case that one person’s casual is another person’s scruffy? And one person’s smart is another’s over-dressed? You take my point, I’m sure.
Being as this is a virtual “do”, I dare say I can choose whether to party in the living room, the kitchen or - depending on the light - the front garden. Which brings me to another delicate matter - that of background.
We are all growing accustomed to inspecting the domestic set-up of the various presenters, personalities and politicians appearing on our screens, from the minimalist to
the crowded. I am always particularly taken by art work on the walls, photographs on sideboards and various works of fiction and / or non-fiction on bookshelves. It’s not only the famous, either...
My friend Pat (we were at school together so you could say we go back a long way) took part in a virtual meeting of one of her social groups, not realising until she was on everybody’s screens, that they were watching
her against a background of the untidiest of bookshelves. Not that I personally think that is anything to be ashamed of, only going to prove that her books are for reading, not just for show. What Pat wants to know is whether it is possible to instal a background
and, if so, how to do it. She is pretty sure it can be done as one member of her virtual group was pictured against the unlikely background of palm trees. Moreover, Pat seems to remember a TV personality being pictured against the very same background.
This seems worth investigating before I turn up at the party tomorrow. I’m thinking something palatial - think Buckingham Palace - or maybe a seaside scene...
Oh, you want to know about the party. Sorry, I got a bit carried away (nothing new there, did I hear you mutter.) My lovely niece, Debs, has invited all our family and my
Little Sister’s family to zoom in on a nation-wide virtual gathering to dance on our doorsteps at 7 p.m. tomorrow evening to the tune of Reach for the Stars. My Boy reckons at the very least we should be able to manage a family party. We all have
just under 24 hours to practise our moves...
Incidentally, the best example I have seen to date of a background getting in the way of the message was a couple
of weeks ago when the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, was being filmed against a background of a row of terraced houses. In the upstairs window of one of the houses, two small children appeared and started waving frantically at the camera. So far, so entertaining
- but then the pair of them disappeared for a minute or two before returning with a couple of Pokemon toys which they had dancing in the window (I recognised Pikachu immediately - he is so very, well, yellow.) Poor
Mr Mayor, I’m sure your message was extremely important but I was laughing so much I didn’t hear a word of it.
Which may just have solved my Fancy
Dress problem - I reckon if I want to grab attention, dancing on my doorstep tomorrow evening, I could do a lot worse than invest in a Pikachu outfit..