I have been worried about one of the Flowerpot People for quite some time. He has been, to put it bluntly, armless.
don’t mean harmless. I am very good at pronouncing the “h” in words like, well, harmless. Nor will you hear me adding an unnecessary “haitch” which so many people seem to do these days. The Flowerpot Person in question has been
armless - as in, without arms. It’s pretty tragic, when you come think of it.
Regular readers will remember that the three Flowerpot People were brought
into life (as far as someone made of flowerpots, party cups, string and buttons can be said to be a living thing) by the Rascally Trio on a visit to ours last summer. Since then they have spent their time out
in the back garden, seated companionably next to each other on small colourful plastic chairs. They haven’t needed a great deal of tender loving care; all I have really been required to do is to water their hair during warm weather. There have been a
couple of wild and windy days when their heads have blown off and bowled up the garden to end up under the lilac tree. Likewise there have been some days when the rain has poured down causing their button eyes to slide down their faces, giving them a rakish,
slightly disturbing expression. Mostly I have been able to put them back together again reasonably successfully - though last time the Trio checked them out Lilia (aka Contrary Lil) complained bitterly that her person had the wrong coloured hair (as in, flowers)
which should have been pink, rather than red. It was almost certainly down to me when putting the FPP back together after one storm or another, but like Dominic Cummings I decided to brazen it out.
The Rascally TrIo would have had even more cause for complaint had they been able to visit more recently. Their sharp eyes would surely have noticed that one of the FPP was distinctly lacking in the Arms Department. Unfortunately
I had already used up all my small flower pots and spare party cups on assorted limbs and therefore had no way of carrying out any replacement surgery though having personal experience of this, I could probably have made a fair fist of it. If you’ll
excuse the pun. The middle of the Flower Pot People has therefore remain armless (and harmless) for most of 2020. I am not sure if Lockdown has affected his mental state - it’s not easy to tell with a flower pot...
One of the few benefits of the recent slight easing of Lockdown has been that Ken the gardener feels able to return to mowing our lawn, tending the flower beds and generally doing well in two hours
what would take me a fortnight to do badly. It is really rather wonderful to hear the purring of his lawnmower powering up and down the back lawn early on a Wednesday morning.
I didn’t hear him going today. He slipped away quietly leaving his empty coffee mug on the door-step. Heading out into the back garden later to check on progress I found, there on the ground next to the vegetable trough and just to one side of
the sundial - a pair of arms! It is possible that Ken did not recognise them as such - four tiny flower pots and two party cups strung together with green garden twine - but he obviously realised that they must have had some purpose in life. I’ve searched
high and low for them since they went missing and I can only assume that they had been wafted away by a strong wind and deposited in an overgrown flower bed where they have become more and more hidden as time went by.
I was SO pleased to see them! Despite everything, both arms appeared to be intact, all in one piece and needing no patching up whatsoever. Replacing them was a simple matter, the operation was painless
and over in seconds. All three Flower Pot People are now fully armed.
And fully legged, for that matter...