Jaqui's Daily Blog

Wednesday 5th December

Today in the health club changing room I was having a fascinating conversation about carrier bags. Yes, really.

 

How times change. When I was a Working Gal, not so many months ago, I used to have my car radio tuned in to Radio 4's Today programme on my journey to work because I could guarantee that John Humphries and Co would present me with an excellent topic of conversation for the day ahead. It was a ploy I used for years and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who wants to appear well-versed in current affairs without expending any effort on actually studying them.

 

Now I'm talking about carrier bags - or, at least, we were bewailing the way our houses have been taken over by carrier bags carrying Christmas "stuff". One person had allocated half her living room for her collection of goodies; another used the spare bed in her guest room; a third made use of her hall and landing. It's a good thing Mr B wasn't there (quite apart from the fact that he would have caused considerable consternation had he turned up in the ladies' changing room) because he would most certainly have told everyone that we don't have a special place for our carrier bags - we have them everywhere.

 

Let's look around the living room. Here is the carrier bag containing the grandchildren's Christmas tree decorations. My Advent Adventure for today was wrapping them all up and labelling each box with the name of the child / number of Christmasses celebrated so far. We buy each of the grandkids a decoration every year - the idea being that when they eventually set up in their own homes they will have their own collection of tree ornaments all ready for their First Christmas Tree. It's just what you need, when you're setting up home. Forget the kettle and the washing machine. A set of Christmas Tree decorations is Just The Ticket. The Eldest and Youngest of the Darling Daughters say that the size of their Christmas trees each year is partly determined by the sheer number of tree decorations so far accumulated by their off-spring. Last year, in despair, the Eldest of the DDs had to resort to a second tree...

 

Here are three carrier bags full of Christmas cards kept from previous years, preserved in case I am called upon to make my world-famous Christmas Crowns. When I was In Charge Of Christmas, everyone was forced to wear one of my crowns on the Big Day (and for many days thereafter, if they were really stoical.) However, it has to be admitted that they are universally disliked by all the follically-challenged members of the family (which includes my dear Mr B) as they do tend to dig into bare heads. Those of us with lustrous locks - and me - find the wearing of the crowns no problem. I am awaiting a call from one of The Family with a request to make x number of crowns for this year's festivities. So far, no call - but I have the carrier bags full of old Christmas cards all ready and waiting, along with the pinking shears and the stapler.

 

I managed to divest myself of four whole carrier bags full of presents when I saw my brother and sister at the weekend. I had purchased some jolly-looking bags-for-life from Waitrose for the purpose which led to Mr B calling me a "bit of a snob" for implying that we never shopped at Tescos / Lidl / Morrisons / name your supermarket of choice. Not Guilty, Your Honour. I simply went for the cheeriest, most festive-looking bags I could find and Waitrose won the day. Anyway, as a way of ridding ourselves of carrier bags, it failed miserably because I came home with as many bags as I had left with.

 

Do you see what I've done, by the way? I have written a whole blog about carrier bags. This was always my plan when I started writing but I decided not to tell you, in case you decided it would be just too boring and stopped reading after the first paragraph.  

 

Well done for keeping with it to the very end. May all your carrier bags be jolly-looking and full of festive frivolities!

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Latest comments

03.07 | 22:43

Wouldn't have missed it for the world. xx

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12.06 | 02:31

I love that you talk to your plants ... I used to on my allotment ... seemed perfectly rational !

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05.06 | 22:01

Sounds like a perfect day Jacqui, happy birthday for tomorrow, love Val xx

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07.12 | 15:48

what details have you got on your mysterious Wilde?

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