Hallo, Swimming Pool! Had you been wondering what ever had happened to me over the last three weeks? Christmas, that's what.
But here I am again, down at the Health
Club, all inspired with New Year Fervour and determination to maintain a healthy exercise regime. If, that is, a stately 16 lengths of the pool at snail-pace, twice a week, interspersed with a couple of sessions jumping up and down to music (aka aqua-aerobics)
can be called a regime. Or exercise, for that matter.
Anyway, I was keen to demonstrate that I am an Old Hand to all the newbies signing up for health club membership while I was there this afternoon.
You could tell the newbies because they were all huddled in earnest consultation with a Personal Trainer, filling in forms and fibbing about their alcohol intake and chocoholicism. I smiled a nonchalant welcome at them, swiping my membership card with aplomb.
It was unfortunate that the receptionist had to call me back because I had inserted my card in the swipe-machine the wrong way round. It sort of spoilt the impression I was trying to create...
the New Year for that "clean slate" approach. The excesses of Christmas and the New Year are behind us. We will start 2013 as we mean to go on. The lovely Sue will arrive first thing tomorrow morning to cut our hair which means we will both
look tidy as we turn our faces to the future. Tidy is a Good Look for a New Year. I always say that if you can't manage "Glamorous" or "Amazing" or even "Well Groomed" - then "Tidy" is a safe (and achievable) option.
What else? Well, we've updated the Christmas Card List, ready for next Christmas. Mr B's plan to reduce the number of cards we sent in a bid to save on the exorbitant postage has come to nought as every single one of the very few people
we cut from the list has sent us a card and so been re-instated. I have also amended the Birthday List, and made a note of all January's birthdays. The compilation of the Birthday List was one of my best ever New Year's Resolutions, about five years ago -
it means I rarely forget a birthday these days. Personally, I think the very best New Year's Resolutions are when you resolve to do something, rather than to stop doing something.
We have gone
through the diary and checked out everything that is happening to us in January and February. As far as we can tell, at the time of writing. We feel so busy, just looking at the diary entries, that we decide we will have to sit down for a bit to recover.
Mr B says life was very much easier before I retired, before I filled the diary with Exciting Things To Do Without Spending Very Much Money. Some people are just SO ungrateful...
at the health club... Well, after ten slow and painful lengths, I noticed that there was nobody in the jacuzzi so I thought I would just take a short break and immerse myself in bubbling water. What bliss! From my vantage point among the bubbles,
I could happily watch all the many bobbing heads making their way up and down the pool. Many more swimmers than on a normal Thursday afternoon - that's the New Year effect for you. They all looked so energetic, so committed, so - fast! Obviously
all those earnest new swimmers will have seen me, lazing about in the jacuzzi, and thought "Old Hand" to themselves.
The trouble with spending time in the jacuzzi is that when you finally force yourself
to leave it you never feel like getting back in the pool again where the water will be colder, thus requiring much flailing of arms to keep warm (not to mention afloat, of course.) So I left the newbies to their exertions and made for the shower
instead. Which was deliciously warm and required the minimum of effort. To be followed by half an hour with a medium skinny latte and The Guardian in the cafe bar, which required even less effort. I know how to keep fit.
I was only six lengths short, you know. I think I shall build up slowly. Only three days into 2013 and already I'm making excuses...