“The North Wind doth blow, and we shall have snow...” so goes the old nursery-rhyme. Mr B says this is all wrong as it is the East Wind, bowling in from Siberia, which will bring with it blizzard conditions
to wreak havoc in our lives.
Who needs a weather forecaster when you have Mr B? He is full of dire warnings about what we will see from our windows when we wake
up in the morning. I can tell that he has been watching those maps on the TV again, you know the ones I mean, which show icy patches marching across the country like an invading army. They make you feel chilly just looking at them, even if you are sitting
in front of a warm fire, supping a warming drink of hot chocolate and with a woolly shawl around your shoulders. OK, delete the hot chocolate and the woolly shawl – but the fire is just lovely.
Mr B has also reverted to the ancient role of Hunter-Gatherer, in anticipation of us being marooned in our house by ten-foot snow drifts. The fact that we live in a particular part of the country which rarely sees snow and,
when it does, sees it disappear in double-quick time, brings him no comfort. I have found the evidence in the kitchen, stashed away behind the coffee-maker: several tins of his favourite Baxters Lentil and Bacon soup and a three-pack of Heinz Baked Beans.
Let’s hope we’re not marooned for TOO long...
While swimming up and down the pool at the Health Club this afternoon, I ponder on what provisions I
feel we should stock up on, in the event of A Big Freeze. I find that I can do an awful lot of thinking while swimming. It’s one of the advantages of swimming as slowly as I do – there’s all the more time to think. Although I
have to admit that over the last two or three lengths I mostly think about the Medium Skinny Latte I am going to order from the cafe and which newspaper I shall choose from the rack.
My health club has a Loyalty Card for coffee drinkers like me, entitling us to a free coffee after we have paid out for nine. I am Very Loyal. I doubt if there are many other club members who complete so many Loyalty Cards as
I do and claim as many free coffees. As for the newspaper, well we do have at least one, sometimes two, daily newspapers at home – but I like to compare the way different papers cover the same story. Once a journalist, always a journalist.
It’s one of my pleasures in life, now that I am retired, just sitting in the cafe at the health club, sipping my coffee and reading the newspaper. It makes all that swimming up and down, up and down, worth the energy expended. Which probably
isn’t all that much energy in the great scheme of things, bearing in mind how slowly I swim...
So, in my head, here are the vital provisions I came up with:
bread, milk, potatoes, Oats So Simple, a large chicken enough for three meals, fish fingers, eggs, bacon, sausages, mincemeat, carrots, onions, bananas, cooking apples, coffee. And, yes, soup – but not necessarily of the Lentil and Bacon variety.
I reckon we could survive for a week on that quite happily. Or so I thought, swimming up and down, up and down. What would your list consist of, I wonder?
Mr B’s pessimism – or what he calls realism – is contagious. I have cooked a stew today with enough left over for cottage pie tomorrow. And I’ve made a blueberry jelly which will stretch to three days if we are not too greedy.
If we are snowed in, we will survive perfectly well.
But anyway I am going to look on the bright side. I refuse to believe it’s going to be that bad.
Not bad enough, I hope, for us to have to miss our first Choir session since before Christmas. How very sad that would be, when I’ve been practising my vocal exercises in the shower for the last week. Mr B shakes his head, gloomily, and says he can’t
see us being able to get along to the Community Centre, not with all the snow that’s going to fall in the early hours of tomorrow morning. It is distinctly possible that I may have to eat my words.
Not to mention the Lentil and Bacon soup...