- She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....
young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
- My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
- I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last,
she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colours yourself!"
- When my grandson asked me how old I was,
I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
- A little girl came home from school and said
to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
- A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just
go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
- Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough
to get as smart as him!
- My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
"A grandmother is a baby-sitter who watches the kids instead of the television."
"Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all wise and pre-historic."
"Perfect love does not come until the first grand-child."
"Grandchildren do not make a man feel old. It's the knowledge that he is married to a grandmother."
G. Norman Collie
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