Mr B often complains that I have A Mind Of My Own. I generally retort by saying something in the lines of "Look who's talking!" The assumption being that there really isn't anything wrong with having a mind of one's own.
Unless, that is, one happens to be an awning...
I have you puzzled, I can tell. You are wondering if the Daily Blog has been hit by the Curse of Predictive Text. But no, you read it correctly. We do have an
Awning With A Mind Of Its Own.
I was delighted when we moved into our house thirty years ago this year to discover that over patio doors was a green and white striped awning, presumably installed for the purposes
of shading the living room from the sun which blazed down in our south facing garden. How wonderfully decadent! I thought. "An awning!"
Over the years the awning grew more and more tattered and the fixtures
and fittings started to come away from the wall. It became increasingly more dangerous than decadent. Hence a few years ago Mr B and I enlisted the help of our friend Tan to source and fit a new awning. We each had our own particular requirements, Mr B and
I - this is what comes of having A Mind Of Your Own. My request was that the new awning, like the one it was replacing, should be green and white striped, on account of this being a restful combination. Mr B, for his part, specified that, unlike its predecessor,
it should be operated by remote control.
Regular readers, of course, know all about Mr B's fixation with remote controls. The television, the DVD player, the gas fire - you name it, he remotely controls it.
If I didn't have A Mind Of My Own, I am pretty certain he would have me on remote control. There is only one remote control in our entire household to which I have laid claim and that is the one which lifts and lowers the ramp on our car to enable Mr B's mobility
scooter to be driven on and off by Yours Truly. Mr B has occasionally indulged in a Longing Look when he sees me with my remote control but so far I have managed to keep hold of it, possession being, as everyone knows, nine tenths of the law.
I tried to find out via Google what happened to the other one-tenth of the law but became hopelessly entrenched in a story about a legal feud involving a pig so in the end I decided to move on. You are doubtless wishing I would
move on, or at least get to the point. I shall do my best to oblige.
The other night, in bed and enjoying that delicious moment when sleep is just about to overtake one's person, I became aware of whirring
noises, accompanied by the odd "clunk" coming from outside my window. Could it be the awning, making some kind of protest? Though what against I couldn't imagine. I trailed downstairs in my dressing gown where Mr B, sleeping downstairs, was mildly surprised
to see me. Outside the awning looked to be in place and not a sound was to be heard. I returned to my bed - but not to sleep. Twice more I heard the whirring and clunking, twice more I took myself downstairs to check it out, twice more I disturbed Mr B from
Finally, worn out with it all, I fell into a fitful sleep - only to be woken at four in the morning by the distinctive sound of the awning unfolding itself. Yes, indeed, all by itself.It was
as if the whirring and clunking had been by way of practice but now it had finally got its act together. Mr B was asleep, I was asleep, the remote control was resting idly on the windowsill untouched by human hand. Spooky or what?
In the morning Mr B wanted to know why I had apparently come downstairs in the middle of the light and let the awning down. I'm not sure he totally believed me when I told him what had happened. But it's the honest truth, believe me,
Now here I am, sitting in the garden, writing today's Daily Blog. I am protected from the sun's fierce rays by the green and white striped awning which looks much as it always does. Innocent. If an
awning can be said to be innocent. If I didn't know better, I would think I imagined it all. It worries me that nobody will believe me.
Does anyone else own an Awning With A Mind Of Its Own?