Mr B was watching TV this morning; I was checking my emails and stalking my friends and family on Facebook. Well, I do like to know what's going on. As if you didn't know.
Suddenly my attention was caught by the caption accompanying a man explaining his job to the television reporter: his job - just listen to this - is "Thrill Engineer." What a truly amazing, inspiring, aspirational job
title that is. I mean, who wouldn't aspire to be a Thrill Engineer? I think, belated though it may, this could be my new career ambition.
those parties where everyone's conversation opener is "So what do you do, then?" It was always a bit of a dampener, replying that I worked for the local Council. It invariably led to long and ultimately fruitless discussions about refuse collection or dog
fouling - everybody's favourite subjects. How much more exciting to respond carelessly: "Oh, I'm a Thrill Engineer..." How very, well, thrilling would that be.
interpretation of the job description for a Thrill Engineer turns out to be at variance with the job carried out by the fella on TV. He is one of the engineers responsible for ensuring that those thriller rides at theme parks are appropriately scary while
stopping just the right side of inducing a heart attack. I cannot imagine a job for which I am less well suited, being a Wimp Of The First Order as you know. There is no way anybody will ever tempt me onto anything that goes up, down, and round sharp corners,
at a ridiculous speed.
Grandson Jack when he was a littl'un was obsessed with thriller rides, the scarier the better. His father (known to you all as Uncle
Dunk'em Dave on account of his exploits on family beach days) was charged with accompanying his eager son on all the rides we encountered over the course of our holiday in the Land of Disney And Other Frightening Territories. Bless him, he prepared well, filming
each ride on his mobile phone beforehand and studying each twist and turn, measuring its Heart in the Mouth Quotient so that he would know exactly what to expect. Not so much a Thrill Engineer as a Thrill Thermometer. Me, I selected all the more sedate rides,
more fitting to one who is of a nervous disposition where thrills of a Rollercoaster Variety are concerned.
But, hey, surely I could still be a Thrill Engineer,
albeit of a gentler type of thrill. Easter is coming and with it the Rampaging Rascal and The Twinkles on a Day Visit to our house of fun. What Easter Related thrills can I engineer for their delight, I wonder?
Tala and Lilia say: we have had chicken spots! Because we are, as Mummy says, "the same but different", as you can probably guess we didn't take the same approach to the Spotty Business. Lilia was a stoic while Tala behaved
like a diva. No, we don't know what a stoic is, or a diva for that matter - could it be something to do with the number of spots we had? - we are just repeating what Mummy told Nanni on the phone. Faris, who is Our Hero as well as our Big Brother, didn't
get the Spotty Pox because he boasts that he has already had it. He wouldn't say if he was a stoic or a diva or something in between. In fact, he wasn't absolutely sure what a Stoical Diva might be but he said it was probably a Twin Thing.
We were hoping we might have a spot or two left to show Nanni when we see her at Eat-ster but they are clearing up remarkably quickly. We suppose Nanni knows a thing
or two about Chicken Spots anyway, being as she has reached such a Great Age and had lots of children and grandchildren including our Mummy and us. That's an awful lot of Spotty Pox if you ask us.
Anyway we understand that Nanni is thinking up lots of frills for our visit. We have absolutely no idea what to expect - in fact, we'd be perfectly happy just to spend the afternoon emptying the water butt like we did on our
last visit. However whatever frilly stuff Nanni has planned we will be sure to enjoy it, if only to keep her happy.
After all, that's what grandchildren are for, don't you know?