Jaqui's Daily Blog

Thinking Positive - You Know It Makes Sense

I have an admission to make. I am not proud of it but as the Daily Blog prides itself on telling the truth at all times, however painful that might be (not to mention damaging to my reputation and perceived good character), it has to be done….


Lockdown (remember those far off days in 2020?) was not as, well, painful for me as for others. In fact it was secretly rather comforting to feel that everyone was now in the same position as Mr B and me. Across the country we all had to stay at home, couldn’t travel, had to forego holidays to far-flung and sunny climes. Being accustomed to the restrictions imposed on us by Mr B’s disabilities, I prided myself on my resilience, my ability to cope. My dear mum would have had something to say about that, no doubt. “You say so yourself, as shouldn’t…”


Now it is pay-back time. Life is virtually back to normal and folk are out and about, visiting attractions, booking holidays, poring over travel brochures, planning their future lives. It feels as if it is just Mr B and me who are left behind. Hampered additionally by a Problem Knee (as opposed to the Problem Shoulder which, thankfully, is a problem no longer, thank you for asking) I can’t even get out and about as much as usual. Obviously there are lots of people for whom life is far, far harder than ours but that’s the thing about self-pity, it makes you, oh so self-centred and inward-looking. And feeling sorry for yourself, as I have told you (and, mostly, myself) very often is Not A Good Look. 


I have therefore decided that I need to go back to Lockdown Principles, albeit without the actual Lockdown. I need to remind myself of all the things that gave me joy during those long days and recreate them. It will be a test of my resilience and refusal to buckle under pressure. Or words to that effect. I’m thinking cards, sunflower seedlings and knitting.


It was during Lockdown, when I was unable to get to the shops, that I started making my own greetings cards. They aren’t as professional-looking as those made by my more talented crafty friends but they are always very personal, always made with very best love, and the recipients seem to like them. Even when I could, in theory, visit the Card Factory again, I have continued to make my cards. This week, sadly, one of my cards went astray - my package containing Young Morgan’s card and birthday banner failed to arrive. I was, to put it mildly, gutted. Morgan’s father promised to do his best to make up for it by showing the Birthday Boy a photo of the card he would have received. (Note of personal explanation: I take photos of all the cards I make and send the pictures to the Youngest of the Darling Daughters. She always comes back with an encouraging message: “Lovely!” she will say. Loyally.)


This apparent dereliction of duty on the part of Royal Mail could have thrown me right off the positivity track but after a sleepless night worrying about my grandson waking up on his birthday morning and thinking I had forgotten him, I pulled myself together, made another card, another birthday banner and posted them off special delivery to get to their destination by 1 p.m. the following day. When I explained to the fella behind the post office counter that my previous package had been Lost in Transportation, he asked if the contents had been of any significant value. I thought about the home-made card, the eleven pieces of multi-coloured card cut into letters (MORGAN IS TEN) and strung together with green wool and had to admit that value had it none. “But priceless,” my heart said, sadly… 


Having satisfied myself that my grandson would know I had had him in my thoughts, I turned my attention to sunflowers. For many years Mr B and I have engaged in a friendly (or not so friendly) competition to see who can grow the tallest sunflower. He always wins, despite the fact that it is I who waters them, talks to them, encourages their reach for the sky. I have also, in recent years, grown ten sunflowers in the garden, one for each grandchild. In Lockdown I gave away all my surplus seedlings, leaving them out on my garden wall to be picked up by anyone offering a good home. In 2020, aided and abetted by the Lovely Kay who sifted through her bird seed for sunflower seeds, I gave away 110 seedlings. This year so far it’s 25 and counting - and I’m loving watching out of my kitchen window as one by one my baby sunflowers head off into gardens all over Worthing. Best of all, sunflowers are the National flower of Ukraine, don’t you know?


Then there’s the knitting. I’ve rather neglected my knitting needles lately but the sight of my inside out Cinderella dolls (gifted to the Twins last birthday) making a kind of guest appearance on Family Zoom on Saturday reminded me of the pleasure knitting gives me. I have therefore invested £3.99 in a downloaded pattern of Her Maj, in lemon yellow, which I am intending to knit for the Platinum Jubilee. If I have time, I might add a knitted corgi - for what is Her Maj without her corgis? She will be a special guest at our own Jubilee Party.


Wait! What am I burbling on about? The Jubilee takes place all over our special weekend, coinciding with our wedding anniversary and my birthday. We have plans! All about food, flags, fun and - most importantly - family.


What’s with all my whingeing and moaning, I ask myself. There’s so much to look forward to.


Loverly Jubbly! 




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Latest comments

23.04 | 20:15

lovely and heartwarming - an inspiration to us all x

09.03 | 12:07

Love this story told as ever beautifully.x

10.11 | 21:31

What a super account of a special event. I loved meeting you last night and seeing your creation come together. I’m so pleased you got so much from the activity

07.09 | 13:17

I have broad shoulders x

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